


What I Would Give (To Save You)

by soukokuforlife14



Category: Terminator (Movies), Terminator - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Just gals bein angsty bed pals, Pretty sure the ending is hopeful, Sarah Connor is brought up, That’s what I was goin for, lady lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24393244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soukokuforlife14/pseuds/soukokuforlife14
Summary: Dani bites her lip hard enough to bleed. Hopes the pain of that will distract her from the burning in her eyes or the stinging touch of her lover’s fingers.Grace is too content. Too happy within this moment whereas Dani feels like she needs to scream. The target for her ire being fate or destiny or whatever the fuck it was that aims to take Grace away from her. The thing which had succeeded once and is eighteen hours away from succeeding again.
Relationships: Grace Harper/Dani Ramos
Comments: 6
Kudos: 56





	What I Would Give (To Save You)

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t say I’m in this fandom and I can’t say I’m not. I simply exist as a lover of TDF and these two amazing women. I adored their characters and hope I’ve done them justice. XP

Grace’s fingers trace lines in the flesh of Dani’s abdomen. Hardened by time and a need for strength to protect the woman currently holding her. A fruitless endeavor considering Grace was going to leave her for her younger self in less than twenty-four hours. Nonetheless, Dani is strong and her body mirrors that strength in the way Grace’s own does.

Grace’s other hand traces more lines down Dani’s thigh. She does that often, draws invisible images into Dani’s skin with the barest brush of her fingertips. It always leaves Dani to wonder if the blonde would’ve become some kind of artist, a painter. Maybe. Given the opportunity to live a normal life. Not one wrought with blood and robot armies and the inevitable loss of it for the sake of one woman who couldn’t save her.

Dani bites her lip hard enough to bleed. Hopes the pain of that will distract her from the burning in her eyes or the stinging touch of her lover’s fingers.

Grace is too content. Too happy within this moment whereas Dani feels like she needs to scream. The target for her ire being fate or destiny or whatever the fuck it was that aims to take Grace away from her. The thing which had succeeded once and is eighteen hours away from succeeding again.

_Fuck fate._

She’d said that so seriously, with so much vigor and utter _arrogance_. Like she truly could bend fate to her will and make it what she wanted it to be rather than a knife that plunged itself into her chest over and over. But the knife is successfully slipping through her every defense and is slowly slicing through her chest. Cutting between her ribs. Cutting to her core.

How can Grace be so calm? With her blood, Dani’s blood pouring between them? The color red staining their skin, their faces, their threadbare sheets. How can she act as if everything is fine when Dani herself feels as though the seams of her very being were splitting?

“Dani,” Grace murmurs gently, having noticed the way Dani lay so tensely in her arms. Her voice is low, like the quiet was something to be preserved, like it was soft, not heavy, not harsh as the weight of the ocean. Not suffocating as it lays over them, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dani bites out. An obvious lie (what _wasn’t_ wrong?), one which has the woman behind her tensing as her hands stop moving. Fingers cease in tracing invisible pictures.

Dani shifts away from Grace’s hands entirely, sitting up and swinging her legs over the edge of their mattress. It’s small, little more than springs and cloth. Even so, it’s better than the cots. Not many have the luxury of springs and cloth, it isn’t something Dani herself had actively wanted either. But, Sarah scavenged the thing herself and Dani kept it when she passed. It is one of the few things left of her and while Dani has never liked the idea of having what felt like _more_ than anyone else, she’d also refused to let it go.

“Dani,” Grace begins, voice far too soft and forgiving, displaying how much she cares and Dani can’t help feeling like she doesn’t deserve it. Never had. Perhaps that’s what hurts the most, never being able to make herself worth everything Grace has given (and still is giving) her, “I’ll do everything I can to—“

“I know!” Dani shouts, cutting the blonde off before she can finish her reassurance which was too earnestly spoken.

It’s true. Of course Grace will do everything she can to survive, to somehow come back, Dani knows that. She had _witnessed_ it. Had witnessed Grace’s tenacity and determination, step for agonizing step when the Rev-9 came for her. She’d also watched the woman give into the inevitable far too easily, her final breath a soft but firm declaration of, “ _I’m not._ ”

(Not sorry to die like that. Not sorry to give her life for someone she barely knew and yet knew better than anyone else could. Not sorry to give her heart, her soul, her body, her very lifesource away. Ripped it out and placed it upon Dani’s unsure palms. She hadn’t been sorry even if Dani’s yet to feel as though she’s apologized enough.)

Those words continue to haunt Dani even now. Even here. _Especially_ here. With the blonde’s hand outstretching to comfort her, so much devoted affection wrought through every line of her being, glowing deep within her soul, pouring out through her blue _blue_ eyes (the color of which had become Dani’s favorite), and soaking every syllable that leaves her lips.

“I know,” Dani repeats as Grace’s fingers make contact with her shoulder and the brunette almost flinches away from it. Almost, but she’s greedy for what she understands will soon no longer be available to her. She won’t ever have this touch again. Soon, all she’ll have is an empty space next to her and an even emptier hole carved inside her.

“What do you want me to do?” Grace asks softly, her fingers gripping harder over Dani’s shoulder. There’s something desperate in the way her fingers hold onto Dani now. Like at any moment she’ll be yanked away into the destiny Dani had fought so hard to change for her. Dani closes her eyes, hopes the burn of her tears will go away as swiftly as her sight does. Like if she shuts them behind her eyelids she can hide the shards of her heart which are making valiant attempts at cutting their way out of her. 

Dani knows what she wants Grace to do, what will sew her pieces back together before they completely split away from each other. To hell with the version of herself that the Rev-9 was sent after. Who is to say that _that_ Dani’s death would be hers too anyway? John was killed even though Sarah had stopped the first Judgement day, right? What if no matter what they do, there’s a branched off timeline where Legion wins? Where Skynet won? What if what they’re doing is only valuable to their current timeline and there were others where they failed anyway? What if Grace doesn’t actually have to go for the Dani here to survive?

Somehow figuring out whether any of those crack theories were true isn’t an option, she knows that too. However that understanding doesn’t stop her from answering, voice cracked by a loss she is merely anticipating and hasn’t actually experienced yet (well that isn’t quite right, she had experienced the loss of Grace, just not like this, not with permanence), “Stay.”

Grace’s fingers twitch with her full body flinch. She knew what Dani would say when she asked.

”If I could—”

“You _would._ I know, Grace,” Dani cut her off, jaw clenching, eyes still closed. She doesn’t want to see anything, doesn’t want to see Grace who sits firmly behind her with mirrored anguish in her eyes, behind that being so much determination to do what she believes is her very purpose in life. She doesn’t want to see Grace leave and she desperately wishes she won’t have to see a world where Grace isn’t there. Gone in mind, flesh, heart, and soul.

If only Dani could’ve figured it out, somehow been able to formulate a strategy that didn’t lead Grace to her death. If only Dani had done better, been smarter...if only she could’ve given herself more _time._

Dani opens her eyes, back straightening under Grace’s hand. “More time,” she murmurs.

“What?” Grace asks.

 _More time…_ what if—?

Dani twists around to face Grace, “More time.” She repeats, louder, firmer, this time. A crude mix of hope and determination cementing her resolve, filling in the cracks, of which she thought were going to completely annihilate her. 

Grace’s expression is one of bewilderment, her hand raising up from where it had been settled on Dani’s shoulder, “I—uh, what?”

“We need more time.” Dani says.

“I—yeah I know I wish—,” Grace starts, a bit of understanding creeping over her features when she understands _nothing_ about what Dani is attempting to convey.

With exasperation Dani interrupts, “No! Grace, _you_ need more time. If we send you back a week before the Rev-9 shows up you should have more time to actually plan something. That’s the problem. You show up too late! So of course the kill-box doesn’t work!”

The rush of words rolls over Grace like a wave she has to swim through. Eventually, she surfaces with actual understanding this time, eyes widening as she says, “I-oh, Oh! I get it. Uh, kill-box?”

Dani’s lip curls up slightly, “It’s Sarah’s term and it’s how you’re going to beat the Rev-9.”

That determination of hers sparks into a glow deep within her blue irises as Grace responds, “Alright. What are your orders, Commander?”

*

Grace leaves and Dani feels her absence with the immediacy of losing a limb. It’s abrupt, and confusing at first to lose Grace’s energy. Her heat. Her heart. Her soul. All of her simply gone. Removed from Dani’s world and placed back in a different Dani’s world. Instead of blood though, what comes of this loss are tears.

The tears are a bitter mix of hope and grief. Grief over the likelihood that Grace would never come back to her, but hope that she’d live.

Dani would likely never really know if their plans succeeded, but she’s done everything she can. She can only pray it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it to the end thanks so much for spending time on this lil fic and do please leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed! Peace out, I’m sure I’ll deliver more fics for these two in the near future! :)


End file.
